Posts tagged Doritos
Doritos brings you a blast from the past:
“Taco flavor” was their first offering, in 1968. And while they brought it back for a limited run earlier this year, it’s apparently now a permanent offering.
While we’re talking about Doritos–I know, I know, we’re not even in the neighborhood of authenticity–I can’t help but wonder: Really?
“Taco flavor” was something exotic and new in 1968. Trust me, you couldn’t even find tortillas in supermarkets once you left the southwest–and I’m talking about the early 1980s, which already were a world of cultural awareness away from the late 1960s.
Now it’s 2012. And I can’t help but wonder: What does “taco flavor” mean? Asada? Carnitas? Lengua? Bean and cheese? Some random assortment of spices? What on earth should I be expecting to taste if I buy this package of Doritos?
And do we really want to take our food cues from 1968?
Here’s how this works: a company buys ad time and hires an agency to create a commercial worthy of airing in the Super Bowl. And based on the results, I try to figure out who they think their audience is. Let’s proceed:
For the people who miss their childhood Spirographs.
For people who mock Corporate Cowboys. Is that a thing?
For people who love the Rocky theme song, fear not living up to it, and are susceptible to peer pressure.
Bud Light Platinum Lager
For people who want to pretend they’re not drinking Bud Light.
For vampires who love cookouts, and inadvertent murder-suicides. Possibly for Van Helsing.
For people who see Elton John as a dictator, and do not remember that Aretha Franklin is still with us.
Hyundai Veloster Turbo
For cheetahs who have had enough of that nonsense.
For men who love Barry Manilow, surviving the apocalypse, and Twinkies.
For people who pee in the pool.
For people who like dogs, but miss that Vader kid.
For people who want a car name that uses the same letters as Scion.
For people who like to see babies and grandmas get revenge on chip-hoarding brats.
Star Wars in 3D
For people who want to ride “Star Tours,” but can’t afford a ticket to Disneyland. (Put that way, this may actually be a valid reason to see “The Phantom Menace” again.)
For people who don’t realize that you can hear the car from inside the house.
For people who want to head-butt John Stamos.
For Century 21 agents.
Jack in the Box
For people who love bacon so much they want to marry it. And are creepy.
For people who feel good about adopting rescue dogs. As they should.
And as a final note, there’s “Battleship.” Liam Neeson, what on earth did you buy?